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31. 23 Days Explicit Content
If anyone is out there reading my dribble you're probably wondering if I'm breathing or not. Well, obviously I am. Here's what happened. I ended up on a bridge on the outskirts of Bowling Green, Ky. I was just stan ding there trying to get up the nerve to jump. I don't know how long I was......Read More

Posted on: 2010-09-02 16:24:41 | Rating:

| Views: 13 | Comments: 0 | Tags: just jump

30. Final Note
I've thought for several weeks now about what I'd put in this post. Yet now that the time is near to put an end to this there's really not much to say. I now have the method, means, and conviction to finally end my suffering. In post #19 I discussed our insignificance. It boggles my......Read More

Posted on: 2010-07-28 21:55:57 | Rating:

| Views: 66 | Comments: 0 | Tags: suicide

29. Took a Chance Explicit Content
Some people may wonder what there is to do sitting alone in a motel room for six months straight. A lot actually. If you go back and read the end of post #25 you'll see where I talk about creating my own little fa ntasy world. And if you have the internet, a brain, and enough time the......Read More

Posted on: 2010-05-28 15:46:52 | Rating:

| Views: 55 | Comments: 0 | Tags: chance

28. What Now? Explicit Content
I had a dream last night. I was back with my wife and daughter. Believe it or not I seemed to be making an honest effort to be a good husband and keep our family together. But at the end of the dream I ended up reading a copy of Roadracing World. In other words,......Read More

Posted on: 2010-04-04 17:27:36 | Rating:

| Views: 156 | Comments: 2 | Tags: what

27. Grow Some Balls Explicit Content
"Ending". That was the title of my previous post. And yet here I am typing again. Why? Because I'm a XXXXX XXXXX that's why. Let me explain... Three months. That's how long I've been sitting in this run down motel watching roaches crawl into the......Read More

Posted on: 2010-03-23 11:46:10 | Rating:

| Views: 103 | Comments: 1 | Tags: balls

26. Ending Explicit Content
Sometime around Halloween of '09 I was about 20 miles outside of Fargo, ND. It was before dawn in the middle of nowhere. Just after getting on an on-ramp I saw a deer about 100 yards ahead on the high way. Then another, and another. I thought "screw this, I'm pulling......Read More

Posted on: 2010-03-08 09:53:13 | Rating:

| Views: 75 | Comments: 0 | Tags: end

25. Buying Time Explicit Content
Mark and I shared a lot of fun times back in the day and he was looking forward to having me stay at his house. However, he was expecting the same person he knew then. Instead, what he got wasn't even close. I was withdrawn and depressed and felt embarrassed to even be......Read More

Posted on: 2010-03-04 20:08:13 | Rating:

| Views: 62 | Comments: 0 | Tags: tag

24. Still Truckin' Explicit Content
Probably the hardest part about trucking is the negative effect it has on your health. You know that tired, bloated, lazy feeling you have when you get back from a long road trip? Imagine that everyda y. I've always been a naturally skinny person that never had to worry about......Read More

Posted on: 2010-03-03 19:54:01 | Rating:

| Views: 38 | Comments: 0 | Tags: trucking

23. Trucking Explicit Content
So I was off to become a truck driver. If you've been reading all these posts and keeping track of what number major life mistake we're on let me know, I lost count. While at the school I realized it would take more money to get started so I sold my now ready for the......Read More

Posted on: 2010-03-02 17:17:06 | Rating:

| Views: 40 | Comments: 1 | Tags: trucking

22. Native Americans Explicit Content
My last post started out in the fall of '06 and only got to the summer of '07. I guess a lot can happen in a short amount of time. Little did I know it was far from over. &nb sp;When I got out of hotel hell the only thing on my mind was getting a pack of......Read More