| View Blog
|
|
|
|
Well here we are, I got a letter from my solicitor today with the "Decree Absolut" that my marriage has been disolved. Its been 13 months since my (ex) wife and I split. Throughout this time I have hit rock bottom on numerous occassions but always found something to help me surface again. Its been a struggle when morally you know you cannot be with the person you married anymore, yet also angry that the reason you are no longer together is no real fault of your own, when you are told "I got everything I ever wanted but got it too young" its a bitter pill to swallow.
Being in this position now brings up a world of differing thoughts and feelings from relief to regret.
Relief that this ordeal is to a big extent over.
Relief that I have made it through.
Relief that I can now say "I am single" and legally mean it. It came as a suprise to me that being classed as "seperated" seems to be the legal equivalent of a skunk coming up and spraying on you when it comes to dating. Hopefully my new found "status" means some future dating interest will not feel quilty about dating a "married man" (albeit seperated).
Regret, regret mostly for my daughter, she deserved to have a Mum & Dad together forever deeply in love, alas this was not to be, now she has a Dad having to start essentially from scratch and a Mum living with another guy with a new half sister. I worry how this will affect her in later years. Perhaps it happened at an age when she really is to young to remember when Mummy and Daddy where together so she may only remember Daddy being "here" and Mummy being "there", but I do worry about her. I worry that I am not there for her in person on a daily basis, I am there for her 24/7, speak to het twice a day on the phone and have regular contact but its not the same as watching your child grow everyday in front your eyes. I worry that my ex-wife doesn't seem to appreciate or get excitied about the tremendous growth in speech and personality our daughter is making. All I can do is do the best by my daughter, and be there for her, be her rock and hopefully this will be recognised in later years.
Other regrets include getting married, it was done with full faith, full honesty and enthusiasm and to have made to feel so cheap so soon after the event still hurts.
So what's next? Next is building my life. Its daunting, its exciting, and to be honest I have no real idea where to start. For the last few months I have been taking things a day at a time and maybe now the bigger picture will slowly begin to emerge.
Having spent the best part of the last 13 months alone means I know myself a lot better. I am wiser for the experience, but I know I miss being with someone, someone to share new experiences with, someone to hug, someone to just "be there" and I am scared about how to get back on the scene. Will I be viewed as "soiled goods" or with "baggage"? Is Miss Right out there? A question hopefully with a good answer.
I am divorced...wow.
|
|
Posted by Avianti on 2007-12-06 18:21:33 | Rating: | Views: 99
|
|
| |
|
|
| Blog Comments
|
|
|
|
|
divorce sucks! Especially when you are in love and it isn't/wasn't returned. To hear "I never really loved you" or "he/she makes me feel complete" *sigh* I wish you all the best and I hope that your miss right finds her way to you before you become numb to it all. Just remember that what happen before isn't always what will happen again. Your daughter is lucky to have a father that cares so much about her future.
|
|
Posted by Brokenhearted
on 2007-12-06 20:20:31
|
|
|
|
|
|
Email This to a Friend 
