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| all these things i hate(revolve around me)
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i despise night time . i fail at everything all of the time.i ate dinner.i really really needed to because i was so dizzy.u see i fell sleep with my heater on high and i was wearing like 2 pairs of underarmour and ya that made me too dizzy.i hate how i cant do anything about it.i had under 900 cal today which is good thats good as long as i keep reminding myself that im still tech. starving i wont go puke it all up.which has been really hard for me but i have been given amitriptlyne which has a chemical in it that fucks u up more that stomach acid aprently.i think its funny that they give it to people with bulimia.{oh the irony}my doctors havent cought on to my eating dissorder yet.it just started getting bad again at the begining of the summer.i have IBS and it was acting up so bad at that point i had already been to the hospital and i was pretty much afraid to eat because the pain was so bad.but the nice thing about it is we always have laxitives in the house and lots of them because i have to take them so frequently :) but yea i think im feeling better now that i have convinced myself that everything is ok and i will burn it all off tonight and ill go run in the morning.i wish i was still on the swim team.my mom took me off after i got expelled. :( it was great exersize i have gained weight since i have been off.i hate how my body looks now cause back then i was 87 pounds and i looked okish.now i wont say how much i weigh cause its gross but i will say that i look like total shit.im going to "bed " now
peace
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Posted by AshleyGacy on 2008-01-30 21:49:29 | Rating: | Views: 104
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