| View Blog
|
|
|
Yesterday, I had a team meeting at work. We had to read a book about discovering our strengths and take a personality type test. Then we all got together to learn more about each other and more about us as a team.
I love that kind of stuff. I read a lot of self-help books (they all laughed when I said this in our meeting b/c that is typical of me). Anyway, my top 5 strengths, in order of strength:
1. Empathy--I am able to put myself in the place of a another person. I've been this way for as long as I can remember so it comes very natural to me. Oftentimes I can sense what someone else is feeling before the person says that there is something wrong. B/c I am so empathetic, people come to me with their problems, issues. I call myself The Ship's Counselor (after Counselor Troi on Star Trek, The Next Generation). I probably should've been a mental health counselor. I can understand someone else's feelings even when I am unsympathetic to their problem. I can almost feel their pain, elation. Whatever they are feeling. It can be overwhelming to be this type of person. There are many times I cry after reading a news story about someone's tragedy. I can put myself into that person's shoes and almost end up in a panic attack over it. I am hyper aware if someone is feeling down or mad. Drives my husband nuts! I can sense when he is upset and if I ask, it pisses him off. I can't help that I am this way. I do better about ignoring him when he is upset. Well, not ignoring him, but I try not to ask if he is upset or what is going on with him. But I still sense it.
I think I know why I am this way. I think it is b/c of my mother's mental illness. My mom was bipolar. Extremely bipolar. It was a debilitating condition for her. She couldn't work b/c of it and eventually, she could not even go to church (which she loved) b/c of it. Given her condition, she was unpredictable. One day, I could spill my milk and she'd be sweet and understanding. Another day I could do that, and she would be pissed. I learned when to tip-toe around her. I learned what I can say and what I could expect. I knew whatever she was feeling. As a consequence, I began doing that with everyone.
I know that others find my empathy an appealing quality to my personality. I think I make other people feel important b/c I notice their feelings and I tend to reach out to others. I do better about not doing this as much, mostly to save myself. It is too easy for me to be drawn into their problems and pain. I, on the other hand, wish I wasn't so empathetic. I know...what a bad thing for me to say, right? I guess it makes me sound selfish and uncaring, but I am neither of those things. I just wish that I could sometimes be oblivious to the pain of others. There is a certain appeal to me in that. I think it would be more calming for me if I didn't feel what others were feeling. I wouldn't feel so compelled to reach out to others even when I am overwhelmed and often sacrifice myself for the benefit of others. I tend to give up my lunch hour, my work, time with my husband, for the sake of others. I am getting better at finding a balance. And in trying not to let anyone take advantage of my empathy. Not that anyone intentionally does that. Of course they don't. They just need. They need to be heard and have someone validate their feelings. I so totally understand that and I am willing to be a sounding board and reassurer to others. But I need to take care of me too. And that's not selfish. Although, it has taken me many years to believe that it wasn't selfish.
The point of the exercise at work is to learn your strengths and how to use them at work to your own benefit as well as to the benefit of the company and my team. I always knew I was empathetic so I am not surprised it was in my top 5. I am having a hard time thinking of empathy as a strength. I am having a hard to accepting that I am this way. I knew I was and have always been, but to know that it is such a strong trait in myself; I guess I just didn't want to believe that I am like this. There are worse traits, no doubt. At least I am not a bitch (well, most of the time I am not a bitch...I can be though and am too often).
So how can empathy benefit me at work? It helps me to find friends. It helps me to make connections with others. I think that people are generally nicer to me b/c I am an empathetic soul. Other than that, I don't know how empathy can help me be a better medical writer. Unless, (epiphany) it helps me be a better writer b/c I could understand how a particular medical condition would make someone else feel and take those feelings into account when I am writing. I think I do that. When I write a coverage policy (criteria by which an insurance company decides if treatment is appropriate), I am very thorough in my research b/c I don't want to keep anyone from receiving the treatment they need. So, I guess empathy does help me to be a better medical writer. I'm glad I wrote about this. This helped me to put some things into perspective.
|
|
Posted by Arik on 2008-03-07 18:53:43 | Rating: | Views: 58
|
| |
|
|
| Blog Comments
|
|
|
|
|
I'm that way too....I had to end a friendship because it was sucking the life out of me, as I was trying to help this person thru their struggles....All the empathy in the world didn't make this person change for the better........SO now I am lost as to how to be....I don't want to take on the attitude that I don't care for others.....I guess we just need to learn not to get sucked in all the way.....
|
|
Posted by Hollis
on 2008-03-07 23:17:19
|
|
|
|
|
|
