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i'm so damn depressed. i hate feeling this way. maybe i just need sleep. i just feel like i haven't been a very good person lately. my little one has been having trouble in school. of course i blame myself. i should've helped him more. i bitch about going to work; with that kind of role model, no wonder he has a bad attitude towards school. i've just got to do better. he's such a sweet boy. it isn't like he is a bully or a troublemaker. quite the opposite...if he gets into trouble at school (usually for talking), he always tells me, without me even asking.
it's just a wake up call, not a crisis. i think it is reflective of how i've been treating life in general lately. my home is a mess. i'm behind at work (and i am at work writing when i should be working). and being at work sucks...our company has been purchased by a bigger company. i was absorbed into the bigger company, but alot of my friends have term dates. so the atmosphere around here is tense and sad. i don't feel as close to my husband.
i know i sound like feel sorry for myself. maybe i am. so what. at least i am writing it out instead of letting it grow in my head, making it seem like things are worse than they really are. i mean, really...none of this is that big of a deal. lukeman will be fine. he is a bright kid and i will just be better at helping him and being a better role model by keeping my bad attitude in check. work is always work. :) i just need to accept the fact that i have to work and get over myself. and my husband....well, anyone who has been married long enough knows that there are ups and downs. it isn't even like we are arguing that much. just i feel kind of distant. and i am mad at him a lot lately. i don't really even know why.
ok......time for a grateful list.
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Posted by Arik on 2007-11-09 07:22:00 | Rating: | Views: 63
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Maybe you and your husband should take a date night just for the two of you. And then you and your son can have a lunch date. Do whatever works for you and I love you even if you don't love yourself at the moment :)
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Posted by ladiegodiva
on 2007-11-09 07:31:20
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Stop blaming yourself and try to be more creative. Creativity will save the world.
Find the way to free your creative side and you'll make a miracle. I don't know you but I'm sure you're a creative person. Make your husband and son to be more creative too. For living this life we all need to be artists. Otherwise, we fail. Yes, Artist of Life!Don't move only your body move your mind and soul and they'll help you to overcome everyday life, and only from that point we can absolutely control what is happening down there. Discover your Positive Center inside and make it real outside.
The Soul Seer
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Posted by DeIvko
on 2007-11-09 07:57:19
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It sounds like you may need to make a change for yourself! We as women,wives, and mothers, have always tried and wanted to be a Super Woman. We have this need to do everything for everyone, and in the midst of trying to save the world, we forget about US! I believe you are doing the best you can. But, try to do something that makes you happy. The power comes when we stop trying to change others, and simply change ourselves. Maybe your being mad at your husband, has nothing to do with him and everything to do with you. We can't expect our men to always know what to do and say to make us happy. Do something unexpected for him, and see how it makes you feel. Best of luck. I can relate to how you feel.
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Posted by deeliteful
on 2007-11-09 08:09:25
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