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Well, I just got back from a weight reduction meeting where we were all discussing our technique for losing weight when I reached out to the group and confided in my surmountable problem, Binging. NO I do not purge but having not metioned that little tid bit I am the gossip of the whole club now while I sit at home alone.
It is loneliness that knaws at my belly wether full or empty craving more and more. I do not purge and that is why I am heavy. 100 pounds overweight!!!! If I was purging, I am one unsuccessfull purger.
When I was younger I had a fast metabolism and was moving all the time. I joined the military out of high school. Was exercising all the time. Still ate the same amount of food I do now but I don't exercise two-thirds as much as I did back then. Basically, I was a highly toned athelete then I got out and gained a ton of weight over ten years.
Since I joined the weight club, I have maintained at morbid obese give or take 10 pounds. Right now I am holding 10 pounds down without trying and NO I am not purging. I am exercising more but I am still having the binges 3 times a week. So do I start going to the gym and exercising five hours a day to mimic the military era of my life and be considered an exercise purger. Or do I just give up and exercise sporadically and exist with a broken down back with pain included. The weight is too much for my size and frame. I need the weight loss. I can not control these binges somethings got to give.
I binge to fill up the emptiness in my gut not my phyiscal gut my emotional gut. When I stress, am lonely, angry, sad, temoprarily insane, I eat to excess. But for now I do not purge. So help me God, somethings got to give. I want to be slender again and in minimal pain and physical problems and possibly happier. So I ask this to binge and to purge through exercise, or to binge and not to purge.
Aquaeyes
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Posted by Aquaeyes71 on 2007-10-16 21:20:40 | Rating: | Views: 67
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