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The club..that place is such a waiste of time.
Sess pool of underage sluts & drama.
Should be shut down.I went beacuse its Neills last night before he goes back to Athena,for college.
*Shrugs* But it turned out to be not such a good night.Anna and Meghan had to start drama.And im not going to juvi for Anna again.That was crap.Fight your own damn battles!
I got alittle green,but i may not even use.
Seems usless.
You know,since Laurens been in the hospital,everythings been like,why ?
Even waking up.We barely talk all together...I miss my girl...its not easy without her....at all.
Dont know if its all fake..or real.But when she calls,it all goes away.I close my eyes and pretend shes laying beside me....She doesnt know how the distance hurts me..I know she isnt taking it well,but,...you know...
She doesnt know about my transgender thing yet,She doesnt know i began smoking again...
Things are falling apart again,and we all know,Laurens the only one who can hold me together.
Our annaversiery is comming up....on the 25th.Not like it matters,weve broken so many times,its doesnt even count.But as far as original date,its the 25th.
*sighs and lays back on my couch* I feel distant...like i cant breath right.Her sickness is affecting me....in every way..Like a chain reaction. *closses my eyes* ..Baby,..i dont know if youll EVER ready this..but i love you.And i miss you...I pray for you..to an unknown existance of a god..but i pray.I hold onto you...for dear life....so dont ever think ive given up..cuase some how,well survive....
On the other hand.Im talking to Neill.
Deathsythehell7: cierra called her and was talking to her, she said everyone knows bout me and cierra, and she was saying wow i leave my best friend alone for alittle bit and u date her
AnnToxic: oh ok
Deathsythehell7: she was like its wierd my best friend and someone i concider my brother dating
AnnToxic: lol
Deathsythehell7: yea
AnnToxic: ...i wish you were me for 10 minutes...so youd see how she looks at me...when no ones watching....the way she wants to tell me something but looks down.... like..i dont know... ..when we got in that tissle fit at the festival in 06...She cried... no one saw but me..she was over in the parking lot of AAA and her beanie was over her face..but she cried...like someone would if they...were fighting with theyre spouse..... she confuses me
Deathsythehell7: wow
AnnToxic: i know it sounds rediculous...but if she does love me...i wish shed stop playing with me
Deathsythehell7: i dont think its that
Deathsythehell7: i think she is nervous
AnnToxic: about what ?!
Deathsythehell7: idk
AnnToxic: no,you do
AnnToxic: whats she nervous about ?
Deathsythehell7: idk
AnnToxic: That someone wont leave her ?
That someone loves her more than theyre own life ?!
Deathsythehell7: i think she might be by wat ur saying
AnnToxic: I barely talk to her in fear that im not good enough !
Deathsythehell7: idk sweetheart
AnnToxic: *smashes something* I would give my very life for a single kiss and she is nervous ?! RAWR
AnnToxic: Im someone real..I feel..i study life...im smart... i care when im supposed to and even more...im fucking dedicated...i do WHAT IM SUPPOSED TO AND ALL I GET BACK IS A FUCKING WOMEN WHO DOESNT LOVE ME BUT TEASES ME IN EVERY EMOTIONAL WAY POSSIBLE ?! *tears up*
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Did i tell you i gave Taran a braclet ? Dont think I did.It was rather expensive..but it was her late b day present.So,she had the baby...Which is interesting.But she named it Aries,*smiles*...which is my astrological sign. Beautiful baby girl at 5 pounds ...i think 4 ounces and she was 22 inches long.
Way healthy and gorgeous..like her mother.
....Hm.....
So.
*looks away,twitches and looks back*
I think im gonna go smoke or something...i need and escape.
Night... |
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Posted by AnnTox on 2008-01-05 00:50:52 | Rating: | Views: 232
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