Things havr gotten a little better. My friends have come back (or rather, i out things back in order) although things are not the same. I'm facing a 4 day weekend and all i want to do is sleep and eat sushi. Might hang with my ride or die cuz, but we'll see. My health's been kinda iffy- i've been skipping lunch for the past three weeks and supplementing my regimen with kitkats and sncikers. Not the best choices. I'm still sick too. I'm back with my friends, which is a relief, but i'm still hanging on the fringes. I'll always be hanging on the fringes here, which is why i need to leave. the old one demands freedom from this self-imposed oppression, depression and exile. I need out. It's harder to relate to them now- i find them kind of trivial, but not in  an inferiority complex kind of way- moreso like i'm so much older than them. I feel my soul has gleaned  much more in it's few travels than they have in all of their experience. 'm quiet, unobtrusive. There are those who have yet to make amends with me and my return. Those who obviously still harbor doubts and hatred. Which is fine, i deserve it. But it's kind of a bummer sumtimes, because they are the reason i hang on the fringes, demanding no more and needing no less. I've  missed the hell out of them, i realize, which surprises me. It's a  fierce feeling, this missing, but with time, it grows easier. I'm thinking about them now, having fun, about to move on in this life, as i fight to keep my sanity and achieve the same goal. It's saddening i know, and i'm hanging on the edge right now. I'm fighting relapse, because i don't want to sink. Not now. But i knw once i;ve hit that slippery slope, it's had to regain footing. I just  need no bad news right now. i need to escape to my cuz and talk and chill and eat sushi. I need to relax and enjoy a big breakfast after a half-dayy's rest. Which sounds silly, because i'm so young, but my diet has been less-than satisfying lately, and i need to recouperate. Generate more energy. Had some of the caferteria food yesterday and realized i didn;t miss it one bit. I was hella-betta without it.