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| Angel_BM21's Blogs in January 2008
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Anotha new year
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Anotha year has passed, anotha wasted time table. Another tally mark on the great rock recording my soltitude. Another year passes. I'm still alone, save the relationships that i haven;t sabotaged and there are just so many. Every bridge i build, i burn. What would i be if i didn;t screw myself......Read More
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Posted on: 2008-01-01 01:55:46 |
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Views: 115 |
Comments: 0 | Tags:
sisyphos
new year
begin
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Acceptance Assimilation and ANGER
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I've grasped hope again, though i find it steadily slipping from my fingers. I can never truly grab it, only grasp it; behold it but not clutch. I'm touching it, feel the sunshine rays warming my face, and yet i'm cold. frigid actually. I sit and observe those around me thinking how futile......Read More
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Posted on: 2008-01-17 14:30:44 |
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Views: 52 |
Comments: 0 | Tags:
sick
ignorance
hate
racist
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Poem- Grief
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She slams
Tilt slam BAM!
Into a locker
What a shocker
That
Today was
The day
That
She pays
For mistakes
She never made.
She been played.
Tears squeeze from
Her heart like raindrops
Call the cops
She fall;
Fall
Fast slow
And sad
Get mad.
Save her-!
He......Read More
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Posted on: 2008-01-17 14:46:23 |
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Views: 55 |
Comments: 0 | Tags:
grief
anger
love
hate
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FUCK!
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Another really bad day. It began with rain, which makes me sad and happy at the same time. I find myself worshipping the bittersweetness of it all, the pointlessness the fleeting glances of each drop as it fallls. I love it and hate it. The mist and fog. One of those days again when i dream of......Read More
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Posted on: 2008-01-18 14:04:12 |
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Views: 87 |
Comments: 0 | Tags:
rain
depression
hate
suicide
death
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Experiment
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I think i'm going to conduct an experiment to see what it is about some people that makes them better able to assimilate? Me, i'm horrible at assimilation. I'm a fantastic actress, a great player of the never ending role that is my life, though i could never assimilate. I mistook their......Read More
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Posted on: 2008-01-24 14:36:29 |
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Views: 63 |
Comments: 0 | Tags:
assimilation
haterd
ignorance
depression
suicide
experiment
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Roles
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How do you know if you're depressed if everyone tells you you're just being psychosomatic? Is this really all in ym head? Am i just calling for indeserved attention? There is no reason for me to be feeling like this. Am i even feelign this? OR am i acting? I can;t tell; i want desperately to just......Read More
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Posted on: 2008-01-24 14:57:11 |
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Views: 37 |
Comments: 0 | Tags:
psychosomatic
depression
roles
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DANgerous Lows...
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I'm starting to hit some real dangerous lows. I've been avoidng my friends, been snappy to people when they're nice....I don't know. I feel this is different somehow. not like all the other levels i've reached. This is a sterranean low. This is cataclysimic. Feeling so low i just want to......Read More
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Posted on: 2008-01-25 15:50:42 |
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Views: 134 |
Comments: 9 | Tags:
endure
suicide
pain
death
papa
die
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Givin in
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I smiled a couple of times today. Kind of at peace. It's nice when you've made a decision. When you've finally made up your mind that your probably not gonna make it to prom, or senior year even. Definitely not to college, who'll accept a friggin idiot? But for the record I am NOT lazy. People......Read More
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Posted on: 2008-01-28 15:48:22 |
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Views: 55 |
Comments: 1 | Tags:
goodbye
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Renewal; hope?
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To all those anonymous people out there who seem to give half a shit more about my life than my closest friends do, i'm truly and deeply grateful. You've shown compassion i didn't know existed.....when i entered this site, i blogged to escape into cyberspace where i'd have no name, no reality,......Read More
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Posted on: 2008-01-29 10:13:55 |
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Views: 83 |
Comments: 3 | Tags:
hope
life
robins
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NATURE
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I need to clear something up, because here in cyberspace is where i get to tell the truth of how i really feel and need not be ashamed of it. It takes the burden off of my heavy heart. I do NOT believe in God. I believe others believe in him, i believe others will die for him. But i subscribe to......Read More
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Posted on: 2008-01-30 09:53:36 |
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Views: 48 |
Comments: 1 | Tags:
wind earth
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