i'm really confused about how i'm supposed to fix this now. NEVER in my life have i ever felt this bad, and certainly never for this long. i have reached rock bottom before, there have been several times when i thought it would never get better, then somehow it did. but this - i can't deal with this. the pain is excruciating.
pretty much everyone i considered to be my friend - turns out their all two faced liars who don't give a fuck. never have i been this alone. my best friend, my one real friend that i have in this mess, works full time at her great new job so we barely talk now, she's too busy. i understand she has to make money to save and all that shit, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with.
today i woke up, ate breakfast and watched tv alone, then sat in my room alone, then ate lunch a little while after that alone, then got online and played games for a while, then went to work where i stood there doing my great new job alone, then went on break and sat in the breakroom for 45 minutes alone, then went back to my little box and stood some more, then drove home alone, then ate dinner and watched tv alone, now i'm sitting here writing this alone, then i'm gonna go to bed alone.
this is why i have lost my fucking mind. that right there, that's all i get to do. ever. there really is no point in living this life anymore. it's worth nothing.
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