8/9/07

Friends and Family,

I am writing to tell you I have arrived safely home. Living with 300 orphans for a month, I felt most spoiled to have my parents to come home to. All of them were so happy to see we were still alive, heads limbs all there! After experiencing some serious cravings, Andrea finally got to eat cheese, and Marta finally got her shower (God bless the woman who does her pedicure). Since my arrival home, I too have enjoyed many luxuries such as: the simple pleasures of using a toilet, no moths the size of my face waiting to surprise me in bed, falling asleep with clean feet, MEAT on my dinner plate, and a smooth road to drive on ..and NOT in a car that is to fit 12 sweaty smelly bodies but crams in 18 sweaty smelly bodies! Having clean drinking water so available and plentiful also keeps exciting me, "Can I really drink this.. directly out of the faucet!!??" Unfortunately my sun-kissed tan I built up disappeared after showering, Um gross? That's African dirt for you. My favorite (and least favorite thing) is that I actually can do things past 6pm, I forgot all about how awesome electricity is. It was at first annoying, but it grew to be an excellent excuse for doing something other than what you should have been doing, or even an excuse to do absolutely nothing at all... 9pm: "Oh, right. I can't clean my room. I can't pack my bag. I can't write in my journal. I can't start my lesson plan for tomorrow. Because... because I. CAN'T. SEE. I can't see anyyythingggg!" But somehow, we could always see to eat dinner...

Apart from feeling overwhelmingly blessed big and small, it has been very hard for me to be home, for numerous reasons. This trip has changed my life in many ways, but right now, I have mixed feelings. For starters, the way I see what I have has changed more than I could have imagined, the same goes for the way I see the freedoms and blessings living in America endows (as well as how much we lack...we are lacking in awareness, in faith, family, culture, gratitude, perspective). Even in recognizing the tremendous efforts and acts of goodness that are being done today to serve others, my thoughts are bewildered by the many people of our country that are still immobile. I would have labeled it to be apathy, but I now understand it to be fear. It is hard to say in words how frightening it is to really understand all that you have. Many know they have it better than others because they want to know it, but never do they want to know HOW much better they have it. Why? Because its scary! I've come to think it is this fear that immobilizes us. Not knowing what to do with what you've seen, the feelings of helplessness and even depression that come after. I see now that suffering is something you must be face to face with to really know. If I had known the impact of this "knowingness" before my trip, I cannot say I still would have gone. But, I am so happy I did.

The young people at PCCP call their school "Living Hope College" (It is high-school level, not a college. Maybe b/c the kids do not call PCCP an orphanage, they call it school, they think of it as college life with dorms and such). The actual school consists of one small classroom and a chalkboard. This room is also their prayer room, their church, art room, assembly room etc). There is all this talk of school, but ironically, they aren't learning anything (Many did not know black people lived in the States!). Their teachers have not been payed in over a year so they are not teaching. A friend told me they will just sit there as the students talk or play with friends in their seats. A years salary promised to each teacher is 1,559 US currency. They are currently receiving nothing.

PCCP is in a lot of trouble financially. Earlier in the year, a few kids left without telling the director of the school. He was very hurt by it and with good intentions went out to find new street kids to bring back. He ended up bringing in more kids than he should have and PCCP now provides for a total of 323 orphans (these are the students currently living there that I met and became close with). Their current dilemma is that the school is not receiving enough money to feed all of their children, it is aprox. $2500 a month to feed everyone. They have been promised help from Orphanages For Africa (OFA) each month receiving $1,500 (still not enough to provide food for all 323 people). Only once have they received the 1500 in full. Usually the money will come in spurts, 300 here, 200 there, sometimes it will not come at all. I believe it not to be a trust issue, OFA probably hasn't the money themselves to help them. Right now, I do not have the specifics as to how this non-profit runs, but will soon be communicating with their vice president Heather Penner when she arrives home from Uganda in September. She emailed me with excitement to hear our interest in helping. I will get the details then.

The most troubling part of their desperate financial situation is that the problem has urged the director to make claims such as if students do not find sponsors by September 2nd many will have to leave (which means a large number of my friends go back to the streets, without food and without a place to sleep). The kids were informed of this and are very scared. How are they supposed to find sponsors on their own? Well, they aren't. So really myself and the group are their hopes in finding people who are willing to sponsor them. There were no promises made by us, they are not expecting anything (other than some care packages and our prayers), but I think something great can come from our efforts if enough friends and family are willing to help. You can help in two ways: 1. Sponsoring/Making a donation (or finding someone who can) and 2. Raising Awareness. You or anyone you know can help tremendously by sponsoring a former child soldier or making a donation to PCCP. Sponsoring means giving an amount of $28.00 a month to PCCP under a child's name. *Note: The expenses will go toward the general needs of the school (food, then education) with the moral principle of equal opportunity for all. Money going directly to a child's specific needs may be relevant when a particular kid has to attend some other school or course or other trainings respectively which come up as special opportunities, or for special needs such as medical expenses for complex cases (a lot of them have Malaria, some Aids). The best part about sponsoring a child at PCCP is that they are my friends, I can tell you about them, their stories and show you their photos! As of now PCCP is running on the few donations given by OFA and the money sent by 20 present sponsors. Yes, only 20 orphans are presently being sponsored out of 323 children. They need help. If you are unable to sponsor a child, you can also help by letting this cause be known by asking others to sponsor, setting up a fundraiser in your community or creating a website for donations etc. For instance, a friend is already interested in using PCCP's cause for a fundraiser at an event in Kennet Square. If you are interested in helping in any of these ways, please email me and we can talk out the details: aphelan@risd.edu.

I learned what reality is for some people through this experience. How one persons life can be so different than someone elses. I experienced how real suffering is, and the scariest part, how evil man can be. I saw the presence of God in extremes. I have a new outlook as to how much we have here and how much most of the world needs. I'm beginning to notice how ungrateful we are from how immune we've become, and as I said before, how ignorant and immobile we can be. I have been in a state of shock the past few days, but I am glad of it. I didn't feel Iike I was leaving Uganda last Saturday, it felt too much like home to really be leaving. I can't tell you how excited I am to see what is in store for me with this experience: what art will come of it, what trips, what writings, what connections, what good and what service will be made of it. I am also very excited to meet with all of you to share my videos, photos and most especially, the stories. I have not included these details of my trip on my blog in respect of my friends at PCCP, their personal stories and specific moments they shared with me would be better expressed in person (some details are also quite horrific which some may prefer not to read). I look forward to sharing. I can't wait for Jon (the Risd film major in our group) to make the documentary!

It has troubled my mind and heart to have left my friends after seeing and hearing their hardships. It felt very strange to be thrown back into the ways of life here, "We have it so easy" doesnt even scratch the surface of how good we have it. It has made me do a lot of thinking, and a lot of crying. With all that they don't have there, it is such a beautiful, beautiful place. It didn't hit me that I was no longer in Africa until I woke up the morning after arriving home and opened my eyes to a fancy light fixture above my head. I was surprisingly disappointed to be home.. no rooster, no cornfield, no Lion King sunrise. My Mom asked me yesterday, "Did you ever wake up wishing you were here and forgetting you were in Africa?" I responded, "No, but since I've been home, I've woken up may times forgetting I was here and wishing I was in Africa!" I think the only thing I truly missed other than people was my Mom's singing. I am so grateful for my life, but by the end of my journey, PCCP really felt like a second home. It seems wherever there is great darkness, where there is suffering of unfathomable struggle, people have more faith in their hearts. They are more open to joy. They have a clearer understanding of what love and God really is, and what this life is worth. To be immersed in a community of these people I have found is such a powerfully rare and beautiful gift, it is hard for the mind to fully comprehend. It is something only the heart understands, for in their suffering, lies a dark beauty of something so rich in truth and something so real, once seen, you can't ignore it. 

I so look forward to seeing all of you. I cannot leave without thanking everyone for sharing in this experience by reading my blogs, and most especially, for your prayers - they have kept me in good health and brought me home safely. We are so blessed to have one another.