I'm tired Thoughts.com,
Working full time and going to school full time is realling starting to take a toll on me. As I'm sure several of you know my pain, you will understand when I say I wish I didn't have to work ever again. I want to work because I enjoy it, because I like/love it, because I am making a difference, and because I want to do it. Working a dead end job that doesn't appreciate you, doesn't pay enough, and is gradually turning you into a bitch is not where I thought I would be five years ago. Five years ago I planned on being in graduate school, but life certainly finds a way of throwing you lemons. All I have seemed to done with those lemons is make lemon water; not quite lemonade yet. I'm still waiting on the sugar to make that lemonade.
I was at work a couple of days ago, and I was the definition of fatigue. Now my father always used to say fatigue was for fat people. I was expecting him to follow that with ", and you puy the fat in fatigue." I was a overweight adolescent, not obese, but pleasantly plump. Whenever I said I had a headache or felt tired he would say I needed to loose weight. He could have been right, but he wasn't. I have lost 30 lbs over the years, and I still have headaches and get tired. Just because someone is a little chunky doesn't mean they are unhealthy. I'm sick of people thinking that, it is not a fact. If you are overweight you are at risk for more things, but you are not automatically unfit. A skinny, thin, or athletic person can have more heart problems than a fat one.
Anywho, at work I wasn't myself. I felt drained, impatient, and intolerant. Customers were annoying me with their very presence. Well, some of them do that even when I'm not tired. I realized that I sort of liked the feeling. It was some what liberating to not care whether or not the customer found me pleasant or helpful. I did my job; I didn't go above and beyond like usual. Now I know how and why those cashiers at Target and various other stores seem so disconnected and rude. Because it is just a job, you are rarely thanked, it doesn't pay much, and people expect you to treat them like royalty. The job does not require a smile or a pleasant demeanor; just that you don't steal and show up on time. That is why I need to get out as soon as possible; I need to start building a career and stop working jobs.
My life needs a makeover. You here that powers that be? I want a better apartment, job, clothes, a car, and the list goes on. Please make it happen.
Amy
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