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| too young to be unhappy.... |
im 20 years young... and i have had no more than 5 or 6 months of single time since i was 15 1/2... i've jumped from serious relationship to serious relationship... one was for about 3 years total, maybe a bit more, and the other was 1 year and 7 months.
during that longer relationship with F, the reason i untimately ended it for the last time was because i realized how unhealthy and abusive our relationship had been. i had just turned 19 when i ended it. i realized that i was too young to be so unhappy. too young to be stuck in a relationship that was emotionally and mentally abusive. it took 3 years, and living with F for 9 months for me to actually see how unhealthy our relationship was.
in my most recent relationship with K, it was so different. we started off so close. inseperable. always together, all the time. so in love. for about a year, give or take 3 months, it was like that... we planned for our future together, to get married, have kids, buy a house, grow old together... and then it began to slowly discinigrate. things came up, and we grew apart. it got to the point where every little thing would irritate me so much. i hated who i had become everytime i came home to him- short, easily irritated, mean... i realized i wasn't ready to get married yet, but he didnt understand. and i realized that i was unhappy for the last 4 or 5 months of our relationship, but i still procrastinated ending it.. there had been so much love and passion, and it was truly sad to see how far we had fallen.. it was hard to end it, but i knew it wasn't fair to either of us to keep it going when there wasn't anything there anymore...
im only 20. i dont need to find my life-long partner right now. i dont want to get married anytime soon. its not something that i am ready for. i feel like i am really mature for my age, yet i still know that im too young to think of marriage. and that im too young to be stuck being unhappy... but at the same time, i feel guilty pursuing happiness.. i feel guilty that i am trying to enjoy being single..
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Posted by AlyssaReid on 2009-11-01 22:41:25 | Rating: | Views: 16
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