you'll get my gun when you pry my cold, dead hands off of it
see, right there i have a problem with guns.
why let anything become more important than cheeseburgers?
make an offer.
ten cheeseburgers.
ten cheeseburgers and she's all yours.
and as long as you are making predictions,
are you really that hot for guns?
if predictions were able to create the future,
i would go this direction:
you'll get my lips when you pry jennifer love hewett's lips off of them
or how about:
you'll get my Beatles collection when the world forgets their music
or:
if you blow my brain into a thousand pieces,
a thousand brains will continue to write
see?
there are far more creative futures to write
than to say you're so afraid
you'll cling to your gun even after you croak.
the theory goes that we are allowed to have guns
to protect ourselves against foreign invasions and such.
tell you what:
if i am the first house that they invade,
they would have gotten me anyway.
i wouldn't wear my gun to bathe or to pee.
lots of vulnerability there.
if i am not the first house they invade,
i'll buy a gun.
when i was a kid,
i saw a rifle with a barrel that bent in the middle.
i said, "ooo. a gun that shoots around corners."
the resulting laughter made me swear off guns.
i am hungry.
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