Why I Am Not A Nudist
1) i want people to like me.
2) i like children and don't want them to be scared.
3) i like children and don't want them to be scarred.
4) women pay me to put on my clothes.
5) i believe in bigfoot, and don't want people to think i am a fake one.
6) my furnace barely handles the pet hair.
7) i saw myself naked in a ceiling mirror and put myself into a coma.
8) your hair blocks shower drains? mine blocks sewers
9) the lady on the nude beach said,
"who do you expect to please with that little thing?"
and i said, "myself."
10) the only difference between you and my wives is you haven't seen me naked.
they are gone. you are here. you do the math.
11) on nudist sites, they never take pictures of people like me.
12) on clothed sites, they never take pictures of people like me.
13) people try to pluck the mane that goes to the bottom of my shoulder blades.
14) kids who aren't afraid of me braid my butt hairs.
it hurts.
15) the animals who live in my body hair have great light sensitivity.
since so many of you had asked, i thought i'd tell ya.
who wants some nice cake?
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