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i believe in Supernatural healing. i have prayed with many and witnessed some having dramatic changes in their conditions. then there are those who don't get exactly what they prayed for. for forty years that has bothered me. did i not pray rightly? did i say the wrong words at the wrong time and mess up the healing? prayer is the opening of a door through which i am willing to have God respond. however, there are many others praying sometimes, and it STILL doesn't come to pass.
it is difficult not to make it personal when someone begs for help, you lay them in front of the King, and the next time you see them, they still have the situation or condition about which you prayed. although WITHOUT prayer, you couldn't change a thing, you "grade" yourself on prayer (little leftover from elementary school. and you thought school wouldn't apply to later life ... ) i heard Pastor Don talk about cancer falling off of someone's head. (we have a small book full of cancer stories in our church.) so the next time i prayed for someone i tried to pray like it was one of those cancers. i heard that Pastor Copeland told a foul spirit that was tormenting a man to "come outta him," and the stupid thing did. so the next time i prayed, i told the disease to "come outta him." nothing fell off and nothing came out. i prayed for more than one very sick person and they had the unmitigated gall to die anyway. whenever that happened, i just backed off from praying for people for a spell.
not all of God's miracles are physical, measurable, definable or even recognizable unless He opens your eyes to them. for instance, praying for those who are in horrific health sometimes is helping them prepare for death. i have been there, and i am telling you, the fear of death is a huge waste of emotional energy. in all the work that specialists have done regarding death and dying, no one speaks of this, but i shall ... if you belong to God (which i must add because i do and that is part of my experience), death is the most peaceful place you can be when it comes. it is as if God arranged for you to have the release of some calming chemical into your system before you experience the release of death. now, in the interest of honesty, which is the one thing i promised in this blog, i went into the hospital several years after my initial near death experience and was kinda terrified. i couldn't breathe, and i got scared again. but this time Pastor Don and Pastor Larry came to see me and prayed, and then i was peaceful again. of course, my immediate response to that whole experience was to grade myself a failure because i couldn't find that peace on my own. again, i couldn't have found it at ALL if i didn't belong to God, so He arranged the reminder i needed, plus, i got to tell my nurses about Pastor Don and Pastor Larry and how much i loved them.
my calling is the mind. no, not as in being a shrink. they are MUCH smarter than i am. i comfort, relate and encourage. in this area i have seen so many blazing miracles i lost count years ago. i have seen addicts quit and not start again. i have seen haters lose their fear (the womb of hate) and non-speaking relatives start to talk again. i have seen young men, who had no family or friends left who believed in them, reach into their guts and become people i looked UP to, people who cared deeply for other humans, people who listened and encouraged other folks. i have seen a rageaholic alcoholic get sober and give THOUSANDS of dollars worth of books and supplies to Appalachian school children who couldn't afford shoes, let alone school books. i have stopped being surprised when counseling for one thing (let's say drugs) leads to healing in other areas: resurrected family love, rebuilt relationships, finishing educational goals, astonishing stories of love and success. i had one maximum security young man call me a year after he was released. "mr. buck," he said, "remember when you told me what i was worth as a human?" "yeah, Smitty, i do." "well, i just wanted to tell you that i have a painting company, a house, 7 employees, four cars i am restoring, and a wife and a baby on the way. i guess we showed them, huh, mr. buck?" through my tears i said, "smitty, i couldn't be prouder of you. one thing, though ... let's drop the 'mr.' stuff. you and i are friends now. no more 'mr.' buck."
you see, the miracle isn't that i said "jump" and God said, "how high?" the miracle is that if someone, anyone, even maximum security prisoners, are treated with love and respect, love and respect take over. they become different-hearted people when you aim love at them. i have so many faces in my memory of people who have said to me, "no one has treated me this nice before." that part is SO not me. i have proven through trial and error that i can't make a marriage work. i look around this house and see the nest of a man who can't clean long enough to make a dent in my housework. i deeply dislike the anger that flares up in me when i am driving. i am not a road rage guy, but i can become so much of a jerk when i drive. the miracle is that from a weed like me, God creates beauty and healthy hearts. one of my wives, as she left, said i had held her til she healed, but thanks anyway, she couldn't do that for me. even in marriage failure, there was success in what i am supposed to do: love people while God changes them ... if they need changes at all. it is not the guy that counsels, it is the God that comes through the counseling. it is not the expertise of the counselor, but the HUGE healing power of love. i have always prayed that God would let me duck and not get in the way of His work on that person's heart. and in that, my faith does not let me down. God loves the people i counsel enough to let me stay out of His way! |
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Posted by AllThingsBuck on 2008-08-04 17:01:04 | Rating: | Views: 52
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respect. we all should but live according to our designed rules. good that you follow yours with astute solemnity. would that all were so bound.
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Posted by bloodintheeyes
on 2008-08-05 21:13:06
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I have heard it said that sometimes we should thank God for unanswered prayers and have found it to be true once or twice myself. My Mom was the least peaceful person I have ever seen die, yet in life, she was the most prayerful. I prayed and prayed, she would find peace at the end of her life, but she fought until the last minute...I will never understand it, but am sure God had his reasons. Guess it's all about Faith.
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Posted by slowtolearn
on 2008-08-06 11:19:19
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I like how you said you ask God to help you duck out of the way, this was well worth reading!
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Posted by roe
on 2008-08-11 21:57:29
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