my eternal fate can not possibly be tied to sending on a mass E-mail. i am truly sorry to those who depend on me to send on things that are sweet or funny or thought provoking, but if at the end it says, "if you love God/Jesus/are saved/want to go to Heaven" or any of the other crap that can fit on a bumper sticker, i have reached a time when i can not ignore my conscience anymore.
look, i don't believe there is anyone in America who owns a TV or listens to news who hasn't heard of the Gospel. people fight to get on TV to share the Gospel, and then once they are on, they change the basic elements that made them worth listening to. "please send money, cuz if you don't, we will have to leave the air." gosh, really? and then someone else will come on and ask me to send THEM money. sorry dudes and dudettes. my money goes to Don Young, and if i get huge overflow, some goes to Kenneth Copeland for caring enough to call and pray with me during the blizzard that took our power a few Christmases ago. otherwise i don't care how many bonfires you build to make yourself rich and burn my confessions or the piles of prayer requests that you show off before you put the address to send my widow's mite to.
here's my problem. i don't like when Jesus is quoted to legitimize a principle He never stated. SHOW me where He says, "if you give me a tenth, i will make you rich." He talked about us giving up our lives. but money? nuh uh. Jesus had every asset of Heaven and earth to draw on. and then He gave us that stockpile. He won't necessarily GIVE you a Rolls Royce to run into a wall, but it doesn't mean He can't afford it. seriously. this Guy is cooler than "i dream of jeanie." He speaks and it is done. Heaven won't be full of paranoids. Heaven won't be full of folks who "got it" because some E-mail said, "pass this on and in five minutes, your perfect mate will fall through your ceiling." Heaven will be full of people who celebrate Him. "um ... excuse me, sir, but don't you mean those who 'accept Him'?" no i most certainly do not. when the cats jump up in the front window, i hear the kids say, "that's Mr. John's house." they accept me. but they play in mud, so i don't let them in just because they stand out front and say, "yea and amen. i believe in Mr. John." demons believe and tremble at His Name. but they don't get in either.
it took a while after Jesus died for ministers to become so desperate that they started preaching tithing. they teach about some dude named Mo Swizzlestick and how Abraham gave him a tenth. we're told that the tenth that Abraham gave to this priest made Abraham wealthy. puh-leez. God made him wealthy, you bean brain. God owns the cattle on a thousand hills. He can sell them. He isn't strapped for cash. a tithe, on the other hand, holds no assets. it was an asset. now it is in another place. i have many friends who put their faith in tithes and when they didn't get rich, gave up church altogether. put your faith in something other than money. or else, tithe like Abraham did: everything he owned. clothes, food, camels, EVERYTHING. if you do that, i will listen to you. okay. gonna go watch some B-movie about aliens with gills and stuff. see ya.