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you get invited to a party. you know one person. they start a flow of information that no human could assimilate. "that's sally. remember two years ago i told you about that gossip? it is her. that's bobby. he cheats on his girlfriend. jimmy's mom worked for al pacino in a movie. wheezer is a truly nice guy ... " you feel the weight of their opinion on your head. you wish people would just let you meet whomever you want and ease off.
so i want to protect folks i like from the idiots. look through my friends. nicest bunch of folks you could ever meet. sometimes i see people who are nice to me being ripped apart in blogs and am ready to climb into my screen and not return til i have ripped off a few beaks. here's the confusing part for me. i truly believe that a capacity for passionate love has been given me by those who have loved me. i do not believe that violence or vengeance are aspects of authentic human love. so where the heck does it come from? do i so want to be someone's hero that i make up scenarios to fantasize that i am actually protecting people i love?
i race toward the end of this chapter. and my heart never relaxes. what if i get to the end and find that i have been following one train track while the one three feet away held my purpose. i see myself in the eyes of my kids and i am a king. you all make me feel like i had a brain cell survive my years as a hippy. HA! i pray that i do not disappoint love.
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Posted by AllThingsBuck on 2009-10-30 13:10:59 | Rating: | Views: 68
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