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welcome to our series, "Mad about Affairs."
there are those who are mad as a hornet.
there are those who love to have them.
then there are the multitudes who get chewed up in the gears of affairs.
but for now we are talking about mechanics, not morality.
this is a classic example of first grade logic.
whether the affair is merely one of the heart over dinners and coffee,
or even if it sinks as far as sex,
there is an elementary school thrill of "this is us vs. them."
a complete train wreck from one of my churches
tried to start a ministry for male sexual purity.
his marriage was then a casualty of an affair.
i lived with a pastor's family.
every time he preached on healing, he got a cold.
you will be attacked in any area you attempt to live morally.
it may be your own mind attacking you.
~the alcoholic wakes up saying, "i will NOT drink today."
~by noon, it is, "i will Not drink today."
~mid-afternoon, it is , "i will not drink today."
~end of work, it is, "i think i'll get a drink."
the point is, it is often moral people tripping over their own rules
that gets them into trouble.
that does not excuse them.
but it is true that the Woodstock generation
made its own rules as it went along.
"do your own thing."
"make your own kind of music."
"if it feels good, do it."
little thought was put into, "this affects a LOT of people."
so these two emotional children in adult bodies
think that their backs are against the wall.
the first thing they convince themselves of is the "need."
"i don't know what i would do without you."
"you will never have to find out."
"my heart would turn completely off if not for you.
you are good for my family because you make me happy."
"i've never had anyone listen like you do."
deep. blah. meaningful. blah, blah. fate. blah, blah, blah.
they believe that they are inventing love.
they believe that people will HAVE to accept it
simply because it is inevitable.
they believe it is justified.
a woman i read about once was divorcing her husband.
he had never blown gently on her face during intimacy.
he DIDN'T KNOW she wanted him to.
folks, may i save you ten thousand dollars in therapy?
there ARE NO MIND-READERS.
(some idiot is saying, "i knew he would say that ... ")
even if people can read minds, they can't do it all the time.
this woman considered affairs away from home
because her mind wasn't read at home.
see? this is where honesty gives your spouse a fighting chance.
and the sick part is she would tell her affair she wanted him to blow on her face.
date nights and vacations are crucial for marriages
for keeping the "us together against the world" atmosphere.
so many marriages are dissolving around me.
so many of the causes are screamingly stupid.
people should be arrested and forced to write papers
on what they love and adore in each other as they date.
those papers should be framed and hung on the wall.
viewed daily, they say,
"before you cheat, remember her love for talking with you til dawn."
"before you cheat, remember how he sang to you in front of hundreds of people."
if things cool off, hang with a counselor.
it is usually a small adjustment to become comfortable again.
more next time on how affairs have two broken people finding each other. |
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Posted by AllThingsBuck on 2008-07-20 23:19:36 | Rating: | Views: 26
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