being lost is so like waiting for a storm.

you know you should run for cover.

you know things have become ugly

in spite of what things look like.

how can you look for cover

in the dark in a place you have never been before?

sometimes folks around you don't even realize you are lost.

everywhere has someone who belongs there.

it is impossible to know who with a look.

so how is it that not everyone

belongs somewhere?

i can name the exact time

in every circumstace

that i realized i didn't belong.

i unceasingly chose women who love to be loved,

and thought they loved me back.

i have had people invite themselves over

because they felt they should set me right

over opinions i had that they felt were wrong.

i wouldn't waste five seconds over a difference of opinion.

it was apparently better for them in my house.

lately i have become convinced i belong in thoughts.

can you see it coming?

oh, yeah.

i started writing someone everyone loves.

i am a fool.

lost again.

i have never been loved with a lasting love.

kinda obvious at my age and stage.

if i could pick love,

would i be alone?

::sigh::

here is how lost i get.

i don't want a partner.

i immediately become subservient.

"let me do everything for you."

you are royalty and i am the one who adores you.

women hate that.

they will say they don't.

but they do.

at least the ones i have loved.

this time i caught it quickly.

i will not love wrongly once again.

and now i am lost again.

what does one do

when one has decided not to love?

don't worry.

i live lost.

thanks for listening.