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i had used my outside voice to protest admissions at our adolescent unit. (i promise. the story is worth it.) they only wanted kids who had insurance. i told them i would protest in every place i could ever raise my voice. they were using the twelve steps, a program made for groups who were self-supporting. every time they have been used for profit since the days they were written, there followed a parade of drunkenness. so they agreed to have a certain percentage of kids from the street. first they brought me a thug who literally escaped the unit and killed someone that night. that was supposed to scare me. duh. they hired me out of running maximum security. so we got in a kid i'll call chuck.
the usual scheme was to have the kids meet the new admissions to help carry their bags. chuck had no bags. i saw him from my office and ran to meet him myself so he wouldn't be embarrassed by people asking for the non-existent bags. the next day, i snuck him in some underwear from the store and some clothes from my church. no words were spoken. he could do laundry and smell good like the other kids.
if kids had birthdays in treatment, we had parties. the kids gave any little something they might have in their luggage or, if there were enough warning, perhaps something small their parents brought from home. being straight and sober is about living, not self-denial. once they sober up, they are regular humans with regular human feelings and regular human joy. so one of the kids was having a birthday. things had been going so well, i had kinda forgotten that chuck was off the street. pizza came in. cake showed up. adolescents were burping the alphabet. it was a party. then i looked up.
my friend hank taught me to counsel in the unit. i am not an addict, and empathy is essential, so hank told me his story and introduced me to the heart side of things. his instincts were mountainous. i watched him like a hawk during group with the kids. they knew he loved them. they knew he gave them no room to lie. and they loved him. anyway, the mood was joyful, the soda pop was flowing, and i happened to look over at hank. his cheeks were soaked. i followed his gaze to the pile of gifts. we had suggested something of their own. beside the pile of funny and silly gifts was a partially used stick of deodorant. it was all chuck had. i grabbed a book from my gym bag and wrote, "because friends are so important" and signed it chuck.
i slid his deodorant back into his room. the look on his face when the birthday kid hugged him was worth a year's salary. the tragic news is chuck was going right back into the system that he came out of. the odds weren't that he would make it. we may have been the only time in his life when he was a winner. but isn't that some kind of point? isn't it important that we love when we have the chance? i still love the wisdom of whoever said we don't lie on our deathbeds wishing we had put more time in at the office. my family finds me quite ignorable, thank-you, so i encourage where i can. i think it is the option that my faith offers to people of very little brain like me. i wonder if i have ever given a gift as valuable as chuck gave that day. for every single person reading this, his gift was stupid. you can afford the Internet, so a bar of deodorant is stupid. but it was all chuck had. that and a great heart. see ya around campus.
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Posted by AllThingsBuck on 2008-09-04 20:11:06 | Rating: | Views: 45
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I'm most definitely a fan of your charismatic writing, Buck. This post was wonderful! Heartwarming, optimistic, and beautifully crafted. We need a bit more optimism in this world.
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Posted by BootLady
on 2008-09-04 20:28:53
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Great story...it was all chuck had...that sentence says mouthfuls:)
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-09-04 23:03:10
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Great J, I am really enjoying the work you are sharing with us here. Keep it up :) (Just try stopping you right?? ) :)
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-09-05 03:52:07
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No gift is stupid if it comes from the heart, which yours did when you helped out chuck. We should all remember there are a lot of chucks in the world and appreciate all the little gifts we are given. You have a very good heart!
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Posted by slowtolearn
on 2008-09-05 08:51:46
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