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i'm persuaded that the stories in Scripture are as non-moralizing as a sidewalk. so many things are described that are just flat out wrong, but they happen without any sort of correction. the apostle paul was not afraid to voice ideas that were purely his opinion. so in that context, this is purely my opinion. the idea of "favorite son" is unfair, cruel and prophetic. siblings can not survive childhood that includes such comparisons. people talk about joseph's brothers like they were some sort of poster children for selfishness. if you buy that i pity your children. joseph's problems weren't because he was a faith hero. they were because his father favored him. he rubbed his brothers' faces in it. "look at me! look at MY special coat dad gave me because i am his favorite!" shame on his father for setting that up and shame on joseph for being so stupidly vain. i dare you to read the story and not see this now that i am pointing it out: joseph's brothers did not feel guilt over their treatment of joseph. they felt guilty because their dad was inconsolable.
it may be easier to see the damage to joseph's brothers cuz dad played favorites. "well, of course it was no fun to be the loser of that kind of contest." but it also cheats the "favorite" out of their life. "favorites" end up anorexic. "favorites" end up alcoholic. i despise the phrase: "that child is spoiled." children don't spoil. vegetables and fruit spoil. but if you were to find an authentically spoiled child, it is a "favorite." the reason the favorite gets messed up mentally is they know that they aren't that great. parental ego and foolishness may convince itself that it is a place of greatness to be adored by a parent over one's brothers and sisters. it is a place of coldness, of strange expectations and unreality. the way to strengthen you children is to teach them to love and be loved. a parent with loving understanding of their children will know that they have a short time to clear away the most destructive forms of their child's selfishness and accentuate the best in their personality. the more love you leave them with, the greater your accomplishment in parenting.
the secret to providing your children with a better childhood than you had (any parent's wish) is to locate points of sensitivity and investigate how they became such. after swatting my kids' butts a couple of times, for instance, i remembered the pain and anguish when i was beaten, and decided to use more creative discipline. i have kids who are much better people than i am. love is the single most potent creative force in the universe. i only know one thing. kids. so we will discuss them more over the next while. thanks for stopping by.
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Posted by AllThingsBuck on 2008-02-08 20:55:30 | Rating: | Views: 63
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I'm glad you'll be discussing this topic. Sometimes I see myself so clearly in my two that I wish I'd been a better parent--it's at those times that I love them so much it hurts. Other times I'm thinking they couldn't possibly have a shred of my DNA and there was some tragic mistake at the hospital--and even then I still love them so much it hurts. Thanks for sharing your inspiration on here. It's good reading.
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Posted by cwzywbt
on 2008-02-08 22:55:51
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You have such a lovely way of thinking.
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Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2008-02-09 00:28:11
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