what an odd holiday. all year i wear masks and costumes and this one day i am supposed to "change" and wear a costume. ummm, got here yesterday. Valentine's Day is a pretend day. i have written love letters that sounded far more sensitive than i truly am. birthdays are strange as well. if i feel that you are worth celebrating, why would i wait til some calendar thing says to party?
here's what i couldn't hide: i am gorgeous. yes, it's true. my children are gorgeous because the parent was gorgeous. oh, sure. her womb. blah, blah, blah. my seed. women are more evolved than men. if the kid is ugly, it is dad's fault. so i take credit for the good lookin' world i have helped to create.
here's something you would never guess: my weight is intentional. last time i was thin i had married women being far too interested. they still are, cuz ... hey. but i am too fat to be naked with them now. so i get to eat like a bovine and blame it on morality. why anyone would ever want to be anyone but me is beyond comprehension. okay. i am going to take my sleek, catlike body to the viewing room and argue with commercials. admit it. some days knowing me makes you want to giggle.
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