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I don't know what physically happens to my body when I go to extremes like this, but it's happened before several times. Perhaps the combination of fasting, working out excessively and taking supplements (which are illegal in my country) are causing parts of my body to rebel against me. I have passed blood in my urine before, but it's not exactly to that stage yet. I feel like I have a UTI, but I'm actually passing small tissue-like substances and my urine is foamy. I'm not sure what the hell is the matter with me, and I've seen a specialist before and he couldn't come to a proper diagnosis. The sad thing is that I push through this as I would rather be skinny and unhealthy than fat. I know it will pass. I probably need antibiotics, but I'm going to wait it out until tomorrow.
I had a melt-down yesterday. I went to that high-intensity class and absolutely despised my reflection. I was so disgusted and discouraged with myself I came home and ate half a pizza and a chocolate bar. That doesn't make any sense why someone would do something so counterproductive, right? Well, I don't understand it myself. If I didn't behave that way, then I would be at my ideal weight and wouldn't have any eaating disorders. It's a violent cycle, but I'll get skinny again... whatever it takes.
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