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Saddness

I just feel so helpless and sad all the time. I don't like to really go out due to the fact that I don't like looking in the mirror and if I can't stand to see what I see in the mirror I feel that no one else will either.  But I don't know why I am the way I am. I don't know how to fix it either.  My mind is always racing around that it never really setttles on one thing.  My habits and stability are just like my mind unorganized and erratic.  I don't know how to change this and if I can't I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.  And I really don't want to be alone.  It's bad enough  I feel all alone all the time even when I am in a crowd of people (meaning my family).  I don't know how to shake this. I thought maybe that if I started using this as a record of my progress about losing weight that maybe it will help me  organize my thoughts on this subject and everything else will fall into place.  I believe that if I fix this one problem everything else will just fall into place.   My weight I believe is my biggest problem that I need to work on and then everything else will change cause I will be happier.  And if I'm happier then everything else will go away. 

Posted by Adreamwriter on 2007-09-03 14:53:02 | Rating: n/a | Views: 100


Comments


Posted by
distractedked000
on 2007-09-03 15:09:45
 
um, hi, you're a lot like me. I cant say i have an eating disorder, because it hasn't been medically diagnosed, but I feel as if i am a binge eater. It started when I lost 20 pounds one summer I started walking and i have no idea what i ate, i think just 3 low calorie meals a day without snacks and before i knew it i was 118. Now i'm 160. i know its a lot and i'm trying to overcome my problem, but i'm learning that the more i dwell on the fact that i am overweight and i neeeed to lose weight, the more i feel pressure and end up stressing which leads to eating. So, enough about me, im here to help you. If i were you i would just try to have fun because I know it's hard to think about, but these days we have are numbered and we don't know how much longer we have. Although they are limited, each day we live is for a reason. I can't tell you what the reason is, but all i know is i and you, we, have to do the best we can and we can't live our lives being depressed because that's too much to waste. i'm hoping that if i find myself, my binge eating will stop and i'll be happier and i won't even have to think about the weight i want to lose. Hopefully i can 'feed' off the success i have and i won't need to binge eat. If you want someone to talk to, I feel like I can understand you.
 
 

Posted by
benventure
on 2007-09-03 15:36:44
 
i know your plight. my mind cant focus on many things for longer than the time it takes to write sentences like these. i often find myself talking myself into spouts of saddness. my thoughts on things such as these is to just let yourself forget about things like tomarrow and yesterday. its harder than i make it seem, but try it. also watch happy movies and listen to happy music, i find that helps.
most of the blue days in this world reflect the ocean of blue thought we have, so think about yellow things and maybe the sun will shine in and dry away the blue.
most often i get off on tangents but im not going to do this on this post.
i think youve got direction
 
 

Posted by
Adreamwriter
on 2007-09-03 18:59:53
 
But how do you not think about your weight. Especially when everyone around you makes little comments and you then see yourself in the mirror. How do you not want to crawl into a hole and not come out?
 
 

Posted by

on 2007-09-10 11:39:21
 
As individuals,we oftentimes see ourselves very different than how the world sees us;so if the universe sees someone secure and together,you'll often find the person is insecure and feels torn apart.The problem I think is intrinsic and irregardless of what's happening on the outside,it's a matter of accepting who you are as you are.I can relate but on a different level than you.You're not alone,there are more who mask it well..You're just brave enough to come forward.Please hang in there.
 
 


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Adreamwriter
Connecticut, United States

Latest Posts
1.  Leap of Faith (2007-10-21 16:12:43)  
2.  Saddness (2007-09-03 14:53:02)  
3.  I wish.... (2007-08-26 15:07:37)  
4.  Just thoughts off the top of my head (2007-08-20 22:13:30)  
5.  Another poem (2007-08-15 21:36:16)  

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