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I had a great time the other day writing the forward to my book with Mishkoode. Well, she wrote all of it. I think I was just there for inspiration and clarification when called upon. It is so true though that we compliment each other with perfect balance.
I was very concerned about her of late, but great news today from my love...she is fine. I have been keeping very strong thoughts about it all, and praying really hard and I am utterly thankful that it turned out so well.
I seriously don't think I have ever loved anyone other than my son more than I love that woman. I think she is my Soul-mate in the truest sense. I do realize to some that will sound very bi-sexual to them, but they are shallow and with out spiritual vision. Soul-mate. Whoever said it had to be people of the opposite sex? Soul-mate. I think we might just have one from each sex lingering about in this world. I have quiet a few great friends in this world. I am all too aware of just how blessed I am.
Growing up I had Jamie M. She was awesome. I saw her the other day and I felt so happy inside to see her. I wanted to just spend more time catching up and talking with her. I wanted to know what roads she has traveled down in her lifetime thus far. She was my confidant in school when that awkward time held us all in some sort of wierd stay of insecurity and confussion. Ha! She was the one who gave me my first real bra. I kept it at school so that my Mom didn't know I was wearing one. I was so proud of that bra. Wow...Jamie was cool. She had a boyfriend and knew a great deal about things I hadn't even heard of yet. She was my teacher in many regards. I thought it was something that she was sexually active. I thought that must have taken a great deal of courage. And when she told me she was pregnant, I thought that was awesome too. It wasn't so awesome when told me stories of how her family reacted or the things that were being said about her through out the neighborhood and at school. Even the teachers were throwing her hard and judgmental looks. Then, as the years rolled bye and she silently seemed to wither away, (much too young for Motherhood), I understood that there was very little cool about it. Now, at the age I am, I have come to realize that there is no greater honor or challenge by either man or woman than raising a child in this day an age. There is no greater gift that we can give to the world than a wholesome, healthy child. I am sure Jamie has many regretts and many joys as well. I often think how different our lives became. She had wondrous dreams and ambitions, just as I did, but I know she didn't have the chance to live most of those out. I think she is still couragious. :)
There is Belva R. A quiet, strong woman. She was a great athlete and a wonderful loyal and true friend. She had a few chanllenges herself, but I never doubted that Belva would rise above them all. She has amazing reserves of stregnth and courage. She was always an inspiration to me. She always pushed me in a quiet, powerful sort of way. Some thought she was very shy, but I never thought she was. I reckened her to be thoughtful and observant. I hear she teaches "special" children some where in Virgina these days. I often think of her and wish her very well.
J.D. Ha! Still the love of loves. She was and still is my best buddy from way back. over 28 years of friendship...that's a hell of boast. Never an argument, never a harsh word between us. She has always been the better half of "us". I love her, admire her and respect her deeply. I miss her more than she will ever know. I wrote a poem for her a few years back. I think she really liked it a lot. She was the one I told everything to. I will always love her. And the list just grows on an on. How blessed we are as human beings to have been able to share portions of our lives with those whom Creator has placed in our path.
Turtle is coming home for my birthday, next weekend. I am so excited. I miss him so much. But he called at least three times a week. :) Nut bar that he is.
OH and Suzzanne and Philip and Vienna. I just want to leave and run out there to California and live with them. Suz is on of my bestest friends ever. We are very close and I love her tremendously! She was my sainity out there in Cali and I don't think I could have made it with out her. She is an incredable woman of deep stregnth as well. She has surprized me and amazed me. She has made outragious strides in her personal life. They were real challenges for her...real ones, difficult ones, and yet she has moved in a positive direction and I think that is just rocking awesome. Her entire family have been so good to me. I owe them a tremendious debt that I don't think I will ever be able to repay!
Her husband is one of the kindest and most well mannered gentleman I have ever had the pleasure to meet. In a world where chivery is almost extinct, here comes Philip. He has run to my rescue on more than one occasion and never...NEVER, griped about it, bitched about it, gave me a sideways look about it....nothing. He has always come with love and a smile and a "let's get it done" attitude. I fucking adore that! And thank god that My Suz lets me love her husband and charish her daughter who is one of the most purest and beautifulest souls that God Created. A lovely family who will always be in my heart!
Marilyn...:) she has her quirky ways but oh my gosh she reminds me of my Mother. :) hahah and that is a good thing. She is honest, classy, classic and so much more. She is a spiritual sister, like Suz...and she is so gifted. Marilyn is truly a generous person. She has been my voice of reason and steadfastness at times when I truly wanted to make crazy decissions or just cave in all together. I don't even think she realizes how influential she has been during my stay in California. What is so cool too is that she has come to Michigan for Ceremony and everyone has fallen in love with her spirit. Cindy and Noowadin really enjoyed her company and so did Diane and Paul at ThirstyDance. She had an amazing time speaking with Two Bears, and they became fast friends.
I miss Marilyn. She works way too hard. I like shopping with her, except when it is all day long...or at stores where everything is way too expensive. But she does have impressive taste in food and we always eat out at the best places. :) I liked that about her. She is really tough too. I have seen her trek through some thick, tic and snake infested areas with posin oak all around and yet she will plough right through to get to a spiritual place to to pick the medicines that she needs for the people and her doctoring. I admire that about her.
There are so many more.... Alan... Dear Alan. Again, too much to say as I am getting a bit tired now and I want some popcorn before I hit the hay. Alan...I am just crazy about Mandaago...I simply love him.
It is always difficult as a traveler to leave people, to make friends and then let them go. It is hard to leave home then come back only to leave again. But I have never felt "settled" here...or anywhere for that matter. There is a place I dream about. A place with tall cliffs by a great body of water. I know it is out there somewhere. That place I can call home and feel settle.
Meanwhile, I roam. And I am restless to roam again.
Til next time...
Baamaa pii miinwaa kiwaabmin.
Oogima Aakiin Ikwe
Mukwa Dodem
Anishinaabe Ikwe
Baweting Ndoonjibaa
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Posted by Aagii on 2008-03-20 21:29:26 | Rating: | Views: 92
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