Kaylee, I'm new to this too, and so glad I found it as well. I'm so sorry to hear you struggle with depression too, though not in the same way. Do NOT hate yourself for having an abortion, you now see you made a mistake, but look back at where you were at that moment. You were struggling, you were underpressure, and alone.
You are not alone in this world,I have a funny feeling more ppl struggle like us than we think.
when you wake up in the morning, look around, and find 3 things you're grateful for. and every day find/think of 3 more things. Sometimes that helps me.

thank you for your advice, i will try and take in consideration things that i do have now, instead of dwelling over things that i should have. its good to know that i'm not the only one feeling this way & dealing with it badly!

I feel like I could cry with you... I hope you find the strength to forgive yourself, that's the hardest part. But once you do, things brighter. I have no idea what it would be like to be in your shoes, so I won't try and empathize. I'm so glad you found your space for this though. Hope you get better soon. Xo

I know what you're going through. Not only through myself, but through my family. My mom got pregnant with my brother at 14 but she had him. She had an abortion for another child either later or before that. She had a still birth too. About four years ago, she found out she was pregnant with my sister. I didn't even know. She went to the doctors and was going to get an abortion, but they told her she was five months along. She actually told me she was going to abort my little sister. I love her very much. But I also believe that even though you get rid of the body, the spirit of your child will come when ready, and you'll have the same child you wouldve if you hadnt had an abortion...even though I don't believe in abortion, if I was in your situation, I wouldve done the same thing. I have been depressed for a while and it only got worse because i found myself too cowardly to cut deep enough to draw blood. I felt so pathetic. Im not going to sugar coat it, but I don't think there will ever be a time when im not depressed. It may be the same for you. But I can cope. I cope by my goals. I have certain things I want to do when I get older, make video games have a million dollars and my own house and husband. Those goals are the only thing that keep me from taking my life. I hope in some way, this helps you. Hang in there.