Thoughts.com Blogs - Mr. Oblivious

It looks like "Mr. Oblivious" may not be so oblivious after all....that's hubby...it seems he has made a few comments to others about me perhaps having a "boyfriend"! I have to say that if the shoe were on the other foot, that I would be taking some kind of action! I would be asking questions, and doing what I could to fix things...well, at least I would've before...maybe not so much now. He has also asked me twice this week where I was...he never asks...I was at work one time, and had a few appointments and then met someone the second time. I can't help but wonder what goes through his mind...if he truly thinks that something is going on, then why doesn't he do something? I'll tell you why; because he's non-confrontational, he doesn't like change, it's easier to ignore and hope it's not true and that it goes away than it is to do something. He is not a man of action.

I have been laying low for awhile anyway, so this is a plus. I have woven such a tangled web here on the internet that even if he did find something he would be hard pressed to find the rest. I have about 11 different email addresses...not intentionally to start with, it's just how it ended up! I don't use them all, about 3 are junk dumps and really not used. The rest have different purposes, and he can probably identify about 3 of them, and those ones are pretty clean. There are 4 that could mean BIG trouble if found, but the only way to find them is if I give them up to him (never gonna happen) or if he got into one that had forwarded email from another which is not out of the question. I try and keep all but a few as clean as I can. I have different passwords for them all, and my laptop is set up to lock after 3 minutes of inactivity, and auto-clears all history once I shut down the browser. My only fear is that one day he will ask for the password for some reason, and then will have access while I'm gone. How could I say no to him? What would be my excuse? The other thing is that I keep nothing on the desktop or in files that are accessible....he would need hours to figure it all out! He has no idea how to use this thing (a Mac) ...but it still worries me, he's not entirely stupid....just a little...lol
The other thing is that the phone I got for Christmas has internet, chat, and text ability...I clear things as I go, and have so many contacts in there for business and whatnot that he would have to call everyone and could only guess with that one too...the bill is paid by me, online, so no paper trail there either.

I like to think that I'm safe, but I know that no matter what there's always a chance that he will find me out...and that will be a BAD, BAD day!

Interestingly enough my therapist seems to think that that might not be such a bad thing! She says she knows of instances where something like that has happened and that it's a wake up call for the spouse, and that it forces things to go one way or the other pushing things out of limbo, and therefore resolving the issues....

Anyway that you look at it, the spouse ends up hurt, and so do the other people involved. How do you do this with the least amount of damage and hurt? How do you step away from 27 years with someone without both people screaming in pain? How do you protect the other people involved? How do you ever walk away? I know I can't walk away unscathed...I only hope one day to walk away intact...