| View Blog
|
|
| I'm Not Crazy....Really...
|
|
|
I am hoping that I'm not losing it here...anyone who's read all of this will probably think that I am...
I am starting to agonize over all this again...it never seems to stop for me. I can't seem to control where my mind wanders anymore, I've completely lost my focus.
I'm worried now that Chris will start to think about all of this and decide that it's no longer a risk worth taking. That he'll think I'm unstable (am I?) and bail on me to make sure he's still safe in this...I would never do anything to hurt him or his family, but that may be something that crosses his mind...
He had another affair about 2 years ago and he left it after a few weeks because it was with a single girl and it got too crazy for him. I hope he doesn't think the same of me. I've added the revised version of the email I actually sent him...it's much shorter and better I think. Maybe it will assauge any concerns he has...God help me...
Here it is:
I have to thank you for doing what you did for me the other day.... I'm sure it wasn't exactly easy rearranging your schedule so we could still have a day together...it means a lot, and I don't think anyone else would've gone that far to make me happy. So...Love you...lol :)
After talking to my parents, and being able to meet and talk with you I have felt much better. I am back in balance, and where I need to be....I just wanted to say thanks, and to let you know that you need not worry about me...like I said, I will be fine.
I also hope that you know me well enough by now to realize that I'm not like that all the time...it was all just bad timing; I am very happy with you and wish to continue as we were...
Have a great day Babe...
|
|
Posted by 2ndchildhood on 2007-12-28 15:30:15 | Rating: | Views: 85
|
|
| |
|
|
| Blog Comments
|
|
|
|
|
Definitely more guarded than your first email to him. It depends on how much of your feelings you want to reveal to him. In your first email you bared your heart to him ... it was very honest. In this email your main worry is "what will he think" .... I want him to think that I'm OK .... but 2nd childhood you are really not OK .... are you.
|
|
Posted by ColoradoDreamin
on 2007-12-28 15:59:25
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks for your feedback...I know I'm in deep here...and No, I'm not ok, but I am taking steps to get to a better place...
|
|
Posted by 2ndchildhood
on 2007-12-28 17:35:57
|
|
|
|
CD, I will continue to write...funny that you say you're "hooked"...lol. I write because it gives me a place to put what's truly on my mind. No matter how bad or good, this is mine, I own it, and it's honest. I find that writing gives me an outlet for all of this, and let's me reflect on where I've been to give perspective to hopefully where I'm going.
I have made an appointment for Monday morning to see a counselor, I hope this helps me as well...
I'll keep you posted :)
|
|
Posted by 2ndchildhood
on 2007-12-28 21:12:39
|
|
|
|
|
I'm here for the same reason you are ... in your very first entry you said something very profound "I like that the written word doesn't judge you, make you feel bad, or try and change your mind. It seems to just absorb what you have to say and keep it" ... Like you I have much to work out also. In the New Year I want to start moving toward that better place. I tend to be a person who says what I think others want to hear. Your honesty and courage have given me the courage to come on here and put my true feelings into words. I'm glad you made the appointment with a counselor. I'm here cheering you on. Peace & Love
|
|
Posted by ColoradoDreamin
on 2007-12-28 21:33:27
|
|
|
|
|
This is a by-product of my blog that I never considered...that I may help someone else! :) Thanks for letting me know you're here...it helps me too.
|
|
Posted by 2ndchildhood
on 2007-12-28 22:50:09
|
|
|
|
|
|
Email This to a Friend 
