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| 2007-2008, A Little Late!
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I figured I should probably put this in here before it got any later in the year...lol...
New Years Eve, I had a few options...my best friend had invited me out to the casino with her...I had been there for New Year's before and came home with bruises from being elbowed by the little blue haired ladies that seem to own these places...so I have to admit that I wasn't too excited at the prospect. The other option was to stay home...when I mentioned to hubby going out with my best friend, he made a comment about me not spending New Year's with him. I asked what he had in mind...he had nothing in mind...empty space there...but I knew that sooner or later that one would get thrown back at me if I didn't sit here with him. So on to plan "C"...lol...I stayed home, but rang in the New Year with James online; this way hubby was happy (I wasn't out having fun without him) I didn't get elbowed and bruised, and I had fun too!
James and I had a blast...each drinking on our end, talking about things from high school that we remembered, laughing about some of the people and things from our youth...I haven't done that with anyone in a long time. It makes me a little homesick for my roots. We also said some things we shouldn't have...omg...but it was provocative and fun...I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
He's in the process of starting a new business separate from the one he has with his wife. He is hoping that when it's going good enough, he can leave her the one they have together, and he can take the new one and start over. I wish him luck...
On to New Year's Day...
New Year's Day I made the decision to hike...not "Mount Discretion" but another local one. This one is more strenuous, much higher, and heavily trafficked. The last time I hiked this mountain was close to 20 years ago...it has been my goal since I first started hiking this year to eventually go back and tackle this one again, but I knew I had to prepare for it...I thought that what I had been doing was not just good, but great...I felt ready for it!
I got up early and dressed, drove there and fought for a parking space, that's the down side of this one. They have done much work on the trail since I was last there...they've had to shore it up in many spots because of the high traffic it gets...
I began the hike and was doing well...but I was struggling a little...about half way up I started to think about not finishing...I felt tired, I was pushing, people were passing me left and right; that's the other downside; those that hike there regularly zip up and down it like it's nothing! I tend to be competitive and feel like no one should pass me...lol. But then I stop for a minute and think; "I am fit, I have worked hard, it's 2008, if you're not going to do this today, then when are you going to?" And so I press on...2/3 of the way up...I'm thinking this is never going to end, I'm breathing heavy, I'm sweaty, and my legs are not just burning, they are screaming....I also realize that I may not have enough water...I brought what I usually bring on my daily hike, and it's not going to do for this climb. But I'm hard-headed...I'm talking to myself again...I know that I'm not going to go home and say that I didn't finish! Nothing would make hubby happier than if I gave up at some point and went back to "normal"! I will never be "normal" again...
I'm almost 3/4's of the way there...they have handbars at this point because it's so steep and difficult...I had forgotten these were there...and then I do what I hate myself for in that moment; I grab the "sissy bar" to help myself up the hard part...I don't think I'll make it if I don't. Now I'm pissed....I'm such a weenie!!!...I can't even do this stupid mountain without using the "sissy bar"....shit...
But I get past the toughest part..."sissy bar" or not, I'm almost there!
10 minutes later I'm at the top, and it's a total rush! I love the feeling of accomplishment that comes with this for me. :) :) :)
But another downside is that you can't exactly sing or dance up here unless your willing to do some time in a psych ward somewhere..you are sharing the top with many others. It has taken me a little over an hour, and I'm surprised at my good time. I am thinking that I did this, I am happy, but I'm not coming back anytime soon...lol...I've had enough! The other people up there are an interesting mix of people, many are health and adrenaline junkies, some family people, an older couple in matching purple velour sweat suits...I wonder why I don't have anyone to wear matching clothes like that with me...they are holding hands, and look very sweet. OK...honestly? I'd never wear matching anything with anyone, but just the idea that they all seem to have someone makes me stand out alone in this crowd. I'm watching the "healthy" ones...they are snacking on trail mix, yogurt, and oranges, and drinking something green that looks like snot to me...I'm out of water, and ready to be out of here...
On the way down the endorphins finally kick in...lol...where were they on the way up? I'm plugged into the ipod, and I start to sing...I suddenly don't care...this has a strange effect on those coming up and those trying to pass me on the way down. They all go wwwaaaaayyyyy around me...lmao...I have all the room on the trail that I need! Some smile at me indulgently, and others just can't tell what to think and so give me wide girth...I'm laughing about it to myself...if only they all knew how harmless I really am...
About half way down I run into my Sister-in-Law....sheesh...what is this; downside #4 by now I think! She is my husband's sister and lives within walking distance of this mountain. She and I talk for a bit; she's been hiking the mountain a few times a week herself. Now she is very thin, very healthy, and works for a great plastic surgeon...she tells me that her best time up the mountain is 24 minutes....it just took me over an hour...
I have to say at this point that she does none of this on purpose. She is actually very supportive of me, very proud of me and my efforts...I just have a clouded view...it's my perception is all. I still struggle with feeling inadequate at times.
Anyway, she tells me that she's hiking up again on Friday! I should go with her and we can visit...it's been a long time since we've done that. So without hesitation, I forget all about the fact that I wasn't going to do this again, and I agree...so now I have another date with this mountain that I have to use the "sissy bar" to get up on....
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Posted by 2ndchildhood on 2008-01-13 17:16:52 | Rating: | Views: 33
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before you know it, you wont need the bar. :^)
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Posted by strong4two
on 2008-01-16 00:02:50
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Thanks...I'm hoping that's the case! But I used it the second time up too...lol...it's all good, at least I'm doing it! :)
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Posted by 2ndchildhood
on 2008-01-16 01:54:45
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