Well the last time I wrote, I was very depressed.  What a difference a week or two makes.  My mood has changed and improved greatly, I found out I'm having a little boy, so now all my thoughts are consumed on him, making sure my son and I will be okay when he's born.  The father, funny bastard that he is, is now wanting to be there for me.  I think its because I told him it's a boy, and now he's excited, he wants a Junior...  I just have to continue to be strong with or without him, because knowing him he might do something to piss me off tomorrow!!!  Your posted comments helped me out so much thank you, it gave me the courage to move on, think of better things... I really appreciate it...