So, here I go again, haven't had much sleep...Scott and  I were pretty much in it all night.  I got a call from Liz on Thursday......telling me she and Scott are together, that last weekend while I was away at Monica's house they were together, that she met him for lunch one day this week, that he loves her and that if I think he has stopped talking to her....i am wrong.  That he asked her to wear a dress to the lunch.....that she is surprised I haven't been able to "smell" her on him..... That there have been emails and text messages.......just not to his cell any more.....since I got "caught" looking at his phone, he told her not to use the cell and to only use the email........that he feels stuck with monkey and I.....that she is what he really wants.

I tried to just let it die down.....to not let it get the best of me.....but I couldn't.  He knew something was wrong on Thursday when he came home......I just told him that there were a few unknown calls today and that it really got to me......that they just sat there and breathed....which isn't at all what happened.  She talked...and boy did she.

I held it in until last night....about 1AM, and I walked in and woke him up.....asking about Liz and why he has been lying to me about it.  I told him what she said to me......all of it.  I told him about the email comments and that I wanted to see his email......of course he goes to his blackberry and GUESS WHAT!!!!!!  there is a message from LIZ....telling him "I love you too"  this message had a time stamp of 22:22.......right about the time we were heading to bed.  He of course said "what the hell????" sorry buddy....not this time.  We went round and round....I wanted to see the rest of the messages, I wanted to see the out going messages.....he said the blackberry doesn't keep out going messages....what a lie!!!!!  

While we were sitting in the bathroom.......I wasn't leaving him for one second with the blackberry alone....I learned that lesson with the cell phone.....yet another message comes in from Liz, saying that "she misses and loves" him.......of course there was the WTF and he sent off a message telling her to leave him alone, that I had told him about speaking to her and that he want her to leave him and his family alone.  About 20 minutes later.....yet another message from Liz.......saying "so the last month and a half have meant nothing.  Last weekend meant nothing?"   She didn't deny speaking to me.......and he sent of yet another message telling her to leave him and his family alone.  That if she continues to contact him, he will seek legal counsel. 

Hours and hours later....his back started hurting as soon as I began talking to him and what not........he finally realized that I wasn't going to leave his side until I got to look at the messages.   He finally agreed after hours of back and forth......me asking him to please just rest my mind, put me at ease.....how could she know I was out of town if you weren't in contact with her????  I asked...is there stuff in there that you don't want me to see "not really" was the answer............

I get the blackberry and there are daily contacts with Liz....telling her that he loves her, that he misses her, responding to her wanting to be in his arms and needing him to tell her it will all be okay.  On his birthday....he responds to a Happy Birthday message from her by saying that SHE was the first one to tell him happy birthday and how much that means to him and that he loves her.  He did make plans to have lunch with her one day this past week.......and asked her to wear a dress....just like she told me, there were the sexual undertones in the message.......about her thinking they were going to be eating "real food"........oral is Scott's favorite.  

His story...........she is bi-polar...that by my asking him not to talk to her....he felt trapped, that he was only responding to her.....taking the easy way rather than tell her to stop.  That he doesn't love her, that he loves me, that he doesn't want to be with her....that he hasn't seen her in months, that he has no idea what her comments about the last month and a half mean or what the comment about last weekend meant.  That she wants him back, but he made his choice.   He is sorry and that he is done....she stepped over the line this time...that she intimidated me and that was too much.

Let me just start by saying....I am not a stupid girl. That I see what I am typing, that I see the words and what they mean.  Do I love Scott......believe it or not, yes I do.  Do I trust Scott.....not a bit at the moment and probably won't for quite sometime to come.  Do I hope we can work through this????  Yes, I do.  Am I a fool?  yes I am .......would I want Monkey to be treated this way?  HELL NO.  So, why is it good enough for me......I don't know.....wish I did. 

Did I write about the phone call from Phil?????  I will have to check.