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Rant continues.....
So then I set myself up for another talk with the Noodle.
OK, silly I know, I think, but then I think, well he's dying and when he's gone I will no longer be able to talk to him, even when most of the talks are bad, and I end up turning off the computer totally pissed. There is that spot in me that says, when he's gone there will be no more.
So I set myself up for another torture session.
Send him a text letting him know I am online.
No answer.
Another, asking if he is ok, or even feels like talking.
No answer.
5 minutes later he signs on to his AIM. And then informs me that they (they being him, step-mom, brother and his gf) are going to eat.
I told him that all he had to do was send me a reply that he was going to be gone and I would have left it at that.
To which he replies, they cost me 15c and you had already sent me 2.
Then he tells me that it hurts his neck to sit and try to talk on the computer. He holds his laptop on his lap and has to look down, so on and so forth.
I told him that he could go to Wally World, purchase a laptop desk that is only $20 or $25, that would ease the strain of holding it and would be more comfy for him.
He then proceeds to tell me that he can't afford that, he is poor. And that besides that he is saving his money for a recliner.
Which to me is crap, they just bought a brand new couch, that has recliners on both ends.
Which is telling me that he doesn't want to purchase something that would make talking to me so much easier.
I am not important enough for that. He needs a recliner. Well I hope that recliner is of great damn comfort when he is in the hospital again and scared out of his wits. Cause this chicky isnt going to sit here talking to him for 3 hours, because 1) it cost 15c a text for him, and I dont want to be the cause of his being poor, 2) I will not be a "convenience". He can talk to his damn recliner that he is saving for.
Made a lot of sense didnt it?
Then he proceeds to tell me that he will talk to me more tonight as my step-mom has her Bible study to go to and my brother is going back to his girlfriends. Which is another thing that just irks the crap out of me. Meaning, he is going to be alone, and he hates that, and thinks that I am going to be here to talk to him and keep him company.
Which by the way he still hasn't seen fit to tell me that there has been another lump found.
OK, anyways enough of the crap.
Kenny is now in Illinois, on his way to deliver here in TX.
Its been 2 weeks today since I have seen him. I wish that I were like Samantha on Bewitched and could twitch my nose and make time turn back. But then if I did that Mom would have to be in pain again because of her gallbladder and pneumonia thing again.
So, I suppose sometimes things are better left alone.
Or....I could twitch into the future. :)
Well anyways, its finally Friday. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and holiday.
Hugs!
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Posted by 1221dol0306 on 2008-08-29 16:08:14 | Rating: | Views: 55
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I really hope that you have a great weekend! It sounds like you need it and you certainly deserve it.
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Posted by Meredith
on 2008-08-29 17:07:22
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Hey Kiddo...noodle doesn't deserve you. You make yourself available,put up with his nonsense and still its all about him. I'm sorry for your troubles L just so damn sorry.
I look forward to the day when you and Kenny go off into the sunset together.
Chin up and straight forward kiddo. In case our paths don't cross have a wonderful holiday weekend:)
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-08-29 20:54:27
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I'm just (finally) getting caught up on your blog, dol. I'm so sorry that you're having to go through all of this. As they say, "When it rains, it pours!" I wouldn't take anything that the Noodle does or says to heart. He's just pissed at the entire universe at the moment - and rightly so! I almost think that people who are near the end do this on purpose so we won't grieve quite so hard when they are gone. Or maybe it's just misery that they can no longer pretend they don't feel. Who knows. Anyway, I admire your strength, girl. Hang in there. :)
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Posted by BootLady
on 2008-08-30 09:24:44
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Thank you everyone!
I have tied the second knot in my rope and am hanging on!
And S? If I keep my chin up, I trip when I walk, Im one of those who have to look down. LOL
Seriously tho, its all ok. Thanks for helping me with my rant.
Hugs to you all!
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Posted by 1221dol0306
on 2008-08-30 12:53:22
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I'm an excellent knot-tier myself. . .if you need help with that. Keep on keeping on. :)
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Posted by cwzywbt
on 2008-09-01 17:01:14
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