I cant stand critters! You know the bug kind of critters?
I was sitting here minding my own business reading blogs, hmmmm, does that mean I wasnt really minding my own business? I will have to ponder upon that one for a while. When I noticed on my monitor a little spot, and it was moving. Strange to see a spot that moves, upon closer inspection, it was a piss ant. I don't know the true name of them, we just call them that. Well, sad to say, he died, or she died, not easy to tell the sex of an ant.
I have this funny little rule, if critters are outside, then they are in their territory, and I generally leave them alone, unless said critter is a rattler, then it gets annihilated, hands down, I will not have one around that I can see. Other critters for the most part get to live. Oh, except for black widow spiders, that is if they build a nest close to the house. They are good for killing icky critters, that is, ickier than they are. If any of said critters dare to invade my territory, then they get killed. Sorry, but I do not intend on sharing my space with critters.
Now....here's where it gets interesting, if I by chance see a tarantula outside, I will catch it. No silly, I don't actually touch it, I have a long wooden spoon and a mayo jar always at the ready for such occasion. I put the jar on the ground, yes I hold it, then I scoop it in with the wooden spoon, and pray that it doesn't take a notion to jump. Which they do you know. Then I take it off to another spot and release it. So see, I'm not totally heartless.
Now, thing is, if there's one critter making a trek across my monitor, then there has to be other critters lurking somewhere. And piss ants are the worst. I don't have food laying about, as it is summer and critters love food that is out. I keep all things such as that put up. Putting out poison isnt really an option, they thrive on that I do believe. So now, I have to see if Mom remembers a remedy for piss ants.
Now for another type of critter altogether.
My step-son. Long story this one. I had raised the boy since he was 7. I also had a step-daughter. Which if you have read any of my blogs, you know that she died 5 years ago. Anyways, she was older, then the step-son, then my own daughter. My "husband" has never seen the girls. Oh yeah, he was always around, but the only person he has ever cared about, done anything for, blah blah blah has been the son. He has always had his head so far up that boys butt that he never could see the light of day. The oldest finally got tired of fighting for any kind of attention from him, that for a good while she stayed out of our lives. The youngest my daughter has done the same, she is of course in my life, but she never talks to him on the phone or anything like that. And when she is here, she hardly talks to him. And me? Well, I got tired of fighting for his affections a long time ago. And that too is another long story.
Some will say, that I am wrong for having someone else, and still be married, and this that and another. But unless you know the full history, and have walked a mile in my shoes, then you wouldn't understand the full dynamics of my life. And trust me, I live this each and every day.
So, when the oldest died, the son went on an even more self destructive path than he had already been on. In a span of 9 months, he was picked up 3 times for DWI. Which is what killed his sister. She was drinking and driving, and had a wreck, which she rolled her truck several times and it killed her. She left behind not only us, but 3 children ranging from 8 to less than a year old.
He married a year before this all happened. This was his second marriage. First one was when he was 20, to a woman who was 23 years older than he was. She had money. He soon tried to drain her dry, but she got wise and booted him to the curb. His second wife, well, she had lost her husband about a year before in a motorcycle wreck, and was waiting on a settlement from that. She was 12 years older, 2 years younger than I am. He soon went thru that when she got it. At the end of his first marriage he found out that from a one night stand a few years prior he had fathered a child. So then he decided he wanted to be a daddy, and the first wife, said, no, I have raised mine. And now I want to be able to do as I please. So out he was. Which is when he stumbled upon the second soon to be wife. All this fit perfectly for him, she hadn't been able to get pregos with first husband, and here was a ready made family. And good for him, here was a woman that wanted to be a Mommy, with the benefit, that she could play Mommy on visitations and still have time for herself. He was this way too, play Daddy without the full responsibility.
In the meantime he has had several brainstorms that he would start his own businesses and make tons of money. Well, he is bi-polar. He has a bad habit of starting something then when he gets bored, he moves on. Or goes haywire in lots of cases.
Case in point, 2 years ago, when my step-father killed himself, my Mom let the 2 (step-son and father) take over my step-fathers shop. Big building with welding equipment and all in it. Well neither one of these yo-yos can weld. So the son goes out to the college and takes welding classes. Now the sad thing is, when he had written homework, and the kiddo was here, she did it for her daddy. He passed the class.
So, him and his father opened up a welding business. Did pretty good too surprisingly. Saving money in the bank to pay taxes, and having a profit, these things are good. Still don't have heat in the house, the husband for some reason doesn't think this is a necessity. But was supposed to get a new heating system this summer. Then some things happened, and he isnt allowed to see the kiddo. So, the boy goes haywire again. On his and his wife's anniversary he goes out, without her. This is not an uncommon occurrence. He would do this on a regular basis, which is why he had the DWI's and she wasnt involved in them. For 2 years he hasn't been able to drive, his license was pulled. He had just gotten them back when all this occurred.
So then, he had gone out on their anniversary, and met this woman, I will call her a barfly. She is 45. Coming into money as her and husband are getting a divorce and she has been married to him for a while and well, you know the story.
2nd wife, is out of money, working her butt off, they are paying tons of legal fees, probation fees and so on and so forth.
Barfly, is now it.
He leaves wife #2, she is heartbroken. He starts partying like there is no tomorrow. Has no place to live, so him and barfly stay in motels and such. Because he has turned into a party boy, he isnt able to work, so then starts going thru the money that is in the bank for taxes and such. No money in the bank means no money to pay Uncle Sam. Which an extension was filed, but guess what, that will be coming due soon. His dad had to go back to his old line of work, the son is doing so now also, since he basically single-handedly ran off the clients that they did have by not showing up to do the work for weeks at a time.
Then in February he and barfly have a wreck on her motorcycle. Messes up her knee this that and another. They are at this time living in a basically shack. I take pity on them and tell them they can stay here until she is able to get around again after her knee surgery. Which when I said this I knew that it would bite me in the butt. I put conditions on this. No going out to party on work nights, and you will work or you will have to leave. No drugs in my house, which the dad, was totally shocked. His precious baby boy didnt do drugs. And when barfly was mobile again and released back to work then they had one month to save for a deposit and 1st and last months rent then they could move.
1st week was fine.
2nd week, they disappeared for 2 days. Weekend, so that was OK, but they came in Sunday night, and Monday morning he was still to blitzed to go to work.
Big fight, I said they had to leave and leave now.
Didn't happen.
3rd week, this is the 5th week for her since surgery. They again disappear for 2 days, this time it is during the week. I put my foot down this time, and said OUT.
Really big fight. But they are out. That boy said things to his father that most fathers would have taken him to the ground. I told him he was no longer welcome in this house ever again. I stated my reasons for this to his father, and was promptly told that I was a bitch for making them move, that I didnt understand. That he is going thru a rough time right now, and well, you get the point. Doesn't matter what that kid does, and he is far from a kid now, he is 30. Time to grow the hell up.
Last night dad comes in crying. Son has said his probation is getting revoked because they did a surprise pee test and his came back dirty. What???? Little Mr perfect who doesn't do drugs tested positive??? Big surprise! No, I wasnt surprised but his father was.
And....he told his father that he had tried to kill himself. I asked how. He told my by taking 15 shots of vodka, and taking about 9 Tylenol with codeine. I didnt say it out loud but thought to myself, damn boy, you dont even have the guts or the know how to do it properly, want me to hand you a gun? OK, I know that was bad, but that's what I thought.
And how its all my fault, because I was there, and broke up his mommy and daddy's marriage. Well, the boy is wrong there, his mommy had filed for divorce, his daddy had moved back here and I didnt meet them until all this had already occurred. And its all my fault to, because his daddy had to support me and my kid and that meant he wasnt able to have everything that he wanted. Never mind, that the rest of us were left out in the cold many times because he needed (or so he thought) $100 dollar shoes or whatever else he thought he needed. Yes, I know to a large part a lot of this is my fault to, I enabled a lot of it because I didnt put my foot down about it way back then. I was young and stupid way back then. Now I'm just old and stupid.
Where is all this going? Who knows, he is probably going to jail.
I sit back and look at all this and think my gosh, what? Talk about your soap opera. Staying enables me to not work, so that I can take care of Mom. I also dont have the money to file for divorce and put him out. What does a person do?
The more I try to unravel this big mess, the more entangled it becomes.
Well, I suppose I am done with my rant for now. The more I try to think about it logically, the more illogical it becomes. I'm tired. Mentally, spiritually and physically. I deal with not only this on a day to day basis, but also, Mom, the Noodle and my own kiddo. And the grand-babies.
I hope everyone has a great day today and a great week coming up.
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